I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
