i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize