Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
