Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
