If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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