so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just gargled with NyQuil
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
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