i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
my poor anus
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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