New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
