why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
