wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
