I wish my penis had an off switch
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
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