I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
