if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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