guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
