May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
