The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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