Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
