how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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