Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
