she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
