No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
