DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
