As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
