New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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