We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
