i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Damn victory sex feels great
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
