Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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