I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
