How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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