ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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