every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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