One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
