I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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