You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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