So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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