I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
