pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
