I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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