We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
