She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
