I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
