OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
