my phone needs a breathalizer
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
