i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
