I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
