Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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