She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
