I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
