I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
