that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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