you have to choose: penises or morals?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
