Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
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