She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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